研究指出,這13個習慣是情侶維持好感情的秘訣。太有效了! 我將它分為外在及內在兩部分,感覺比較看得明白: 外在: 1. 擁有相同的興趣 2. 走在一起時一定要牽手 3. 下班後見到對方,快上前去抱住他吧! 4. 每天早上都說「我愛你」、「祝你今天順利」(中國人很少嘴邊常說「我愛你」,講我掛住你比較常見吧) 5. 每天都要問候對方,每晚都要說「晚安」(其實我覺得未必每日,一星期二三四日都ok,但如果完全沒有msg,感覺便很疏離) 6.有交帶。事先讓對方知道行蹤,給予對方安全感。男人總是忽略這點,有男的連去旅行都不告知女朋友,女方感覺很不受重視呢!如果周末沒空約會又沒有解釋原因,則令人更沒安全感了...) 7. 為愛人計劃活動。大家可以輪流計劃每周周末或放假的活動。(有不少女性朋友都跟我說過,她的男朋友常常星期五或星期六當日才即興約她出去,有時甚至忙自己的事,沒有約她,感覺好像事事Stand by 沒有自己的生活,也不知是否應計劃周末活動。 內在: 1.讚美多於責怪 2.選擇相信、原諒,絕對是愛情中的良藥(這個很重要!) 3.為另一半感到驕傲,常常支持他/她做的事。 (以下3個因素是我加的,我認為都很重要: 4.生氣不超過一天,冷戰不超過一星期,速戰速決為上。如果只是冷戰而且對於方不知原因,無助更加了解,反而更傷感情。 5.多分享感受,不要老是把事情悶在心裡。情人之間如能做到好似好朋友般,多分享感受,便有無盡話題,我相信拍拖十年以上的人便深得此道。 6.要有互相包容,遷就。其實每個人都是不同的個體,廿幾年三十年來都已有自己的習慣和看法,沒必要事事據理力爭傷感情,一些恩愛到老的人並非他們的想法一模一樣,而是因為愛而互相包容,遷就對方。曾經看報導說過一對夫婦因為擠牙膏方式不同而離婚,太堅持自己的方式則傷害感情呢!) 其實,人與人的相處很奧妙,只要你願意多花一點心思,別人一定能夠感受到你釋出的善意。快把這篇分享給你的朋友們,希望大家都能相親相愛! Research indicates that these 13 habits to maintain good feelings and relationship for couples. Too effective! I try to separate into two parts-- external and internal parts: External : 1. Both have the same interests. 2. Always hand in hand while walking together. 3. Hug him immediately when you see him. 4. say "I love you", "I wish you well today." every morning. Say "good night" every night.(I would like to say I miss you…Chinese less always says "I love you",it may more happens in ourselves’ wedding speech or the moment you feel in love with him very much.) 5. Greet each other every day. (in fact, I think Greet each other twice or three times every week is ok for me. If there is no messages at all,girls may feel very alienated AND aloof.) 6. Leave words and let your lover know whereabouts in advance, give each other a sense of security. 7. Plan activities for lover. Couples take turns planning every weekend’s activities in advance. Internal: 1. Praise MORE than blame. 2. Choose to believe, to forgive, which are absolutely love medicine. 3. Feel proud of the other half. Always support him/her. (the following three elements I think it’s important that the research haven’t mentioned. 4. feel angry not more than a day, cold war not more than a week. Sooner begun, sooner done. If she doesn’t know the reason you feel upset, it’s helpless and she may feels hurt.Talking to each other is good for better understanding. 5.Share your feelings more, do not always get things bored in heart. If the couples like good friend, share their feelings more, there will be endless topic, I believe some couples dating more than a decade always know the way.) 6. Mutual tolerance, accommodate with each other. In fact, everyone is different and individual, they have over twenty years or thirty years habits and views,I think it’s bad to argue everything but hurt feelings. Some couples lived together in conjugal bliss, their views may not exactly the same, I believe it’s because of love and mutual tolerance, accommodate with each other. Once I read newspaper,it said a couple got divorced because of the different ways of squeezing toothpaste, it explains that some people always insist on their own way which hurt their love feelings eventually! ) In fact, getting along with people is so abstruse AND not easy.As long as you are willing to spend a little effort, people will be able to feel your goodwill released. Share the passage with your friends, I hope people would love each other! **my English is not so good, just try to translate it..