「You can go now!」職員揚揚手,示意司機驅車離開。司機不帶一絲憐憫,回頭就走。 「Wait!」我本能反應拍著車門,司機當然沒有理會。我心知不妙,連巴士也開走了,這肯定有大麻煩,我內心一寒。 「Visa! You need visa!」辦公室的職員看著我,仿把我當作是個非法入境者般,從頭到腳來回審視著我。 「No! Hong Kong people doesn't need a visa!」 「Chinese needs a visa!」 「Hong Kong is different from China.」 「Nonono... Passport. Visa.」這糟老頭明顯不懂英語。 「I am from Hong Kong! OK? Check it! No visa is needed!」 「No, you are not. Chinese... No, you have to go back.」 「HONG KONG DOESN'T NEED A VISA!」我情急之下,已不懂說第二句話,也不知道怎能跟一個不黯英語的人解釋這問題。職員與同事相視,搖搖頭,以一副「同你講都多餘」的表情,為我蓋下了這印章,我相信是「被拒入境」之類的意思。他把護照遞給我:「Go back.」 他媽的,我只是路經「貴境」,拒絕我便算,但我要怎樣回頭?這才是大問題:「OK, how can I go back to Macedonia?」 「Skopje, go back for your visa.」 「I know Skopje! How can I go back to Skopje!」 「Go. That way.」他示意我走回頭。 「I mean, can you arrange a bus or a car for me? How can I go back to Skopje? By foot?」 「No. You have to go back!」 我真是光火了,半夜三更在此地與這些不黯英語的官員對牛彈琴,你到底想我怎麼樣:「I can't walk back to Skopje!」 「You need a visa!」 他媽的,你明白我在說甚麼嗎?我大叫:「Can you get someone knows English?」 職員搖搖頭,總算願意找個路過懂英語的司機來,司機向我說:「You need a visa to get in Serbia!」 「I know! I don't care whether I can get in to Serbia! If they don't let me in, fine, I can go back to Skopje! But I need a car!」 「Oh! Yes! You have to take a car!」 他媽的,你總算明白問題所在了。 「You got the point!」 他對官員用當地語言解釋,職員粗暴地一臉不在乎的樣子,然後司機說:「That's not their business, you have to find your own way.」 「What?」 「Maybe you can hitchhike, or find a taxi?」 「Hitchhike or find a taxi? In the border? Seriously?」 他再跟職員耳語,續說:「Maybe you can go to the nearest town taking taxi.」 「How far is it?」 「Not far, 30 minutes by car.」 「But I still need a car, you know? 30 minutes by car, I have to walk for a few hours to get there! Damn it!」 「Well! I don't know what you can do... How about this, you go back to Macedonia border to seek help, they are just over there for about 100 metres.」 「What? I go back and ask them? Can they at least send an officer with me?」我怎麼能回頭問他們?怎樣解釋這無厘頭的意外? 司機又向職員解釋,然後對我翻譯:「That's not your fault, it's the fault of Macedonia. Don't worry, they will handle it.」 這不是我的錯,也不是馬其頓的錯,是你們的錯,我現在真的很「worry」。 「Damn it, I just need a car! You guys don't let me in and I have to deal with this shit on my own?」我再一次表示不滿。 「That is not my business.」職員索性回頭便走,而司機亦無可奈何。我站在兩個邊境中間,不知如何是好。 司機只充當翻譯,也不能幫到我甚麼,他指指前方,我當然知道那是馬其頓邊境,但要我在大貨車和大巴士之間徒步走回邊境,你玩我嗎?這些人也真太不友善了。 他們或許也不怕你「賴死唔走」,難道我要在此留上一夜?我被拋在路中心,沒有人管我,寒風蝕骨,實在想不到我在保加利亞一個錯誤的決定,竟讓我落得如斯下場,遇上接二連三一場又一場的意外。 沒法子了。我背起沉甸甸的背包,亮起電話,在漆黑之中盡量走回路邊,內心焦急下仍難顧安危。 走到馬其頓邊境,關員馬上截著我,問我為甚麼回頭,我約略解釋了這個故事,他說:「Impossible! Hong Kong passport can entry to Serbia!」 多諷刺。 我循他指示跑到邊境大樓,第一時間便找個關員解釋這個問題,那女人竟說:「Hong Kong passport can enter Serbia!」她拉著我:「You see that building? That is Serbia border, go and tell them you come from Hong Kong, they will let you in.」 「They don't understand! And yes I know, I come from there! They expeled me from the border!」 「Oh really?」難到我坐飛機過來嗎? 「I don't care to go Serbia or Machedonia! I just want a place for me to stay for one night, and I need a car!」 「Try! Try to persuade them!」 明顯地,雙方不想惹麻煩、互推責任。 「I've dealed with them for almost an hour, if I really have to go back, can you send someone to go with me? I don't think they know English.」 「OK, please wait, let me call them.」 胖女人拿起電話,大抵向對方打電話吧,我心中暗喜,終於遇上了一個好人、一個懂英文的人。 未幾,胖女人回頭拿著包包對我說:「Wait here, we are changing shift, tell your story to my colleague and they will help you.」 「What?!」辛辛苦苦解釋了大半天,又要我從頭說一次?去哪兒都好,我只想好好睡一覺,有人可以帶我去一個有旅館的地方嗎?! (待續) 個人旅遊專頁:https://www.facebook.com/360.days.in.australia